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What is the big deal about motherhood?

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What is the big deal about motherhood?

Understanding the impact of motherhood requires an understanding of the psychological concept of attachment. I will not get technical because I intend to be light and informal in this post. Attachment is simply another word for bonding, bonding typically happens between a mother and child, beginning soon after birth. The result of a secure bond or a secure attachment is a child and later an adult who is healthy, curious, connected, and confident. These qualities translate into healthy self-esteem, healthy relationships, and healthy future mothers and fathers! Oh, also the mother-child relationship contributes to the development of gender roles and gender expectations. If you have a good husband, wife, partner, etc. then thank their mothers on this mother’s day!

How do mothers create these attachments?

LOVE.

How do they communicate that love?

Warmth, protection, responsivity, emotional attunement, care, etc.

SO…besides, the sole responsibility of providing the building blocks for little humans to be the amazing adults they become, motherhood is really no big deal!

What if mothers make mistakes? What if we have unhealthy relationships with our mothers?

Well, human beings are malleable and there’s always room for mending and healing from insecure early attachments through other significant (healthy) relationships, psychotherapy, spirituality, or other means. So, although, it is easy to blame our mothers for all our faults, let’s remember that: 1) they do their best with what they have, 2)they had mothers too (Do you ever wonder about their attachments/relationships with their mothers?), 3)  we have choices,  AND 4) we are responsible for our personal growth and healing.

Stay tuned for my two cents on fatherhood on father’s day! 

—Dr. Ibrahim

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